So I guess we're not going to ease into summer here in Cleveland ...

It was 75 degrees with a dewpoint in the mid 60s by 8:30 this morning. That's hot by Cleveland running standards (it rarely peaks much above the high 70s when I run in the mornings). And, I'm definitely not used to it. The only positive: the sun stayed behind the clouds most of the time. I survived a hot slog, but it was not particularly pretty.

I am a little bummed. April and May were super wet (over 6" of rain in April, over 7" for May and there could be more with thunderstorms in the forecast for the next couple of days). The average high for today is supposed to be 73, with an average low of 53 -- almost perfect running weather. Instead, like I said, it was already hot by runner standards by 8:30 AM. It certainly beats trying to run through a blizzard, but it still is always a bit of a bummer to lose out on those ideal running conditions.

Nothing says spring like hearing the cheery, bright song of a male Rose Breasted Grosbeak. The song of this bird has been described as a robin that has received singing lessons! I photographed this guy on Friday.

My chest has been feeling better (hopefully it will continue to feel better *knock on wood*), but I've made no running-related decisions for fall ... at least not yet. I've just been running -- not following a plan, not running any particular distance, not targeting any specific race or race distance, just running.

When it stops raining (which isn't often...), there have been some most excellent sunrises. The other morning the sun rose over the top of the valley which was cloaked in fog and it was absolutely awesome, magical, mystical, and beautiful. One of those mornings you are thankful to be a morning runner. Hopefully there will be many more of those mornings to come.

I preface this post by saying if Big Sur ends up being my only marathon, I'm ok with that. What a great and glorious race that was. It was everything I hoped and dreamed it to be, and it would be difficult to ever top that experience.

That being said ...

I really want to run another marathon.

But, I'm not sure I should run another marathon.

Since running Big Sur, my chest has been hurting. I'm not exactly sure why my chest is hurting. I've had this pain off and on since January 2008. I've been to both my oncologist and my GP about it. They've done heart tests, they've done CT and PET scans to check for a recurrence, they've done lung/pulmonary tests. Nothing seems to be abnormal.

I know I have a lot of scar tissue in my chest -- when I finished chemo back in October 2007, I had at least two masses that were still around 5 centimeters and one that was over 4 centimeters in my chest. I also have some scarring to my lungs from chemo. Either of these two things could cause my chest to hurt.

The pain I get is a deep, aching pain behind my breastbone in the center of my chest. It doesn't radiate. It isn't really tied to exertion, although when I breathe harder (like I do even when I'm running at an easy pace), it does worsen.

Because all of my tests have come back negative, I'm not worried about my heart or anything. But the pain is undeniably there and it hasn't gone away despite the race being now a few weeks ago. I'd love to do another marathon, but I keep wondering ... Is my body trying to say no, don't do this anymore? Is it trying to say I've had enough, please stop?

I wish I knew what was going on with me.