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If you can fill the unforgiving minute ... with sixty seconds’ worth of distance run ... Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it.
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Monthly Archives: June 2007
I am now officially sick of chemo, sick of Prednisone, sick of coughing, sick of getting winded walking up the stairs, and I'm thinking of just calling it quits.
Everyone else’s life seems to march on. Friends are getting married, getting new jobs or promotions, having babies. Planning marathons. Writing books. Researching articles. I very much have the sense of being a spectator to life now, not a participant. The world keeps on spinning, but I seem mired in quicksand where the very best I can do everyday is just try and keep my body from slipping too far under. I can make no plans. I can’t engage in my favorite activities anymore. I’ve been doing chemo so long, I forget what its like to feel normal, to be able to make normal plans, to just do normal things.
I'm losing faith in the whole plan.
As I posted, I've been struggling with my running. Well, this morning I tried to push through the burning pain in my chest. I was down on the bridle trail, and I don't know why but I didn't want to stop and walk again. I ended up coughing up blood. :( It was really bad. :(
Maybe I shouldn't run anymore. :(
XR Chest 2V / Accession #52778237
Procedure Reason: Hodgkin’s Disease
Indication: History of Hodgkin’s Disease, shortness of breath, pleural pain right side
Findings: PA and lateral x-rays of the chest are compared to chest x-ray performed on May 15 of this year, which demonstrated mediastinal and right hilar lymphadenopathy, secondary to Hodgkin’s disease. The mediastinal and right hilar lymphadenopathy appears to be less prominent, and there is a Mediport in left anterior chest wall, but there is now diffuse infiltrate primarily in the right upper lobe, and perhaps also a portion of the right middle lobe. There is no right pleural effusion. The heart is normal in size, and the skeleton of the chest is not remarkable.
Impression: Residual mediastinal and right hilar lymphadenopathy from Hodgkin’s disease, but the patient has developed a right upper lobe and perhaps right middle lobe infiltrate.